nerocavalier

“But people can’t, unhappily, invent their mooring posts, their lovers and their friends, anymore than they can invent their parents. Life gives these and also takes them away and the great difficulty is to say Yes to life.” - James Baldwin, Giovanni’s room.

“Self-awareness, reason, and imagination have disrupted the ‘harmony’ which characterizes animal existence. Their emergence has made man into an anomaly, into the freak of the universe. He is part of nature, subject to her physical laws and unable to change them, yet he transcends the rest of nature. He is set apart while being a part; he is homeless, yet chained to the home he shares with all creatures. Cast into this world at an accidental place and time, he is forced out of it, again accidentally. Being aware of himself, he realizes his powerlessness and the limitations of his existence. He visualizes his own end: death. Never is he free from the dichotomy of his existence: he cannot rid himself of his mind, even if he should want to; he cannot rid himself of his body as long as he is alive—and his body makes him want to be alive.” - Erich Fromm, psychoanalysis and religion

When I have neither pleasure nor pain and have been breathing for a while the lukewarm insipid air of these so called good and tolerable days, I feel so bad in my childish soul that I smash my moldering lyre of thanksgiving in the face of the slumbering god of contentment and would rather feel the very devil burn in me than this warmth of a well-heated room. A wild longing (always) for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life. I have a mad impulse to smash something, a warehouse, perhaps, or a cathedral, or myself, to commit outrages, to pull off the wigs of a few revered idols.. (Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf)

ولو هسه أصفن وأكول، واحد لازم مرات ينعزل تمامًا عن العالم حتى يعرف نفسه من صدك. قبل ١٠ سنين هيج هاي كانت piece of cake هسه ما أعرف الحياة تعقدت.

ومدا أكلك لا تسمع أي شيء إطلاقًا؛ خصة إذا هو شيء تستمع بي، لكن جرب فترة دونه، وشوف الأفكار اللي تجيك وتعامل وياها.

عقلك يكون هو الصوت اللي تسمعه، هل الأمور مجرد تكتمه وما تخليك تسمعه. صح، بعض الأفكار اللي تراودنا مو حلوة وصعبة وحتى مؤذية في بعض الأحيان، لكن من تتقبل وجودها وتحاول تسويها externalization عن طريق الكتابة أو تدوينها بورقة أو ما شابه ممكن تتوصل لفد طريقة معينة حتى تتجاوزها، أو أقلها تطور من نفسك وتكتشف شغلة ما كنت تعتقد أنو هي موجودة عندك.

شخصيًا، شفتها التجربة كلش mindful حسيتني أكدر أفكر بشكل أوضح واكتشف أشياء بنفسي ما كنت مفكر بيها. مجرد أنو أبتعد عن الميديا المسموع بكل أنواعه مو بس الأغاني، وأكعد إما أدوّن أو أقرة شغلات معينة.

أوكي جربتها صارلي شهر تقريبًا. خل أحجي.